Waiting is the answer.

Tonight while reading my first purchased "infertility book," I was most struck by these words:

"Waiting is not unanswered prayer. Waiting is the answer. For reasons known only to God, you, too, must wait for a child right now. But do not think this is some second-best, unexpected plan for your life. This is God's anticipated best plan for your future. Waiting is no mere interruption or a nasty wrench in the works. God uses waiting as an active tool in His hands as He shapes our destiny -even if we don't seem well-equipped to enjoy it!" (Ginger Garrett, Moments for Couples Trying to Conceive.)

Wow...that was exactly the reminder I needed to bring me a measure of comfort tonight. I find it interesting that I titled this blog "Waiting for Baby Maki." I so want to be a good steward of this time He is giving me. I truly believe there is a reason and a purpose. What I need to learn is to spend less of the time analyzing why He's making me wait and more time allowing Him to work in me to fulfill the purpose of the wait.

The book that I quoted above ends each devotional with a short prayer. Here's my paraphrase of the one from this chapter:

Lord, please help me be a better steward of this time of waiting. Help me to trust that it's a blessing and not a curse. Help Ryan and I to overcome our doubts and impatience. I know You have already blessed us over the past three years, and I want to look back and remember what You have done. Help me to trust that You will continue to work, no matter how long the wait. Amen.

My hope is to use this blog as a place to keep track of what God has done and has yet to do, so that we'll always have a reminder. I know the energy I spend feeling angry, bitter, sad, jealous, inadequate, etc. is not the purpose He has for this time. I'm guessing that efforts to completely banish these feelings would be in vain, but I'm confident that this renewed hope in His good purpose for the wait is a step in the right direction.