It's amazing what a difference one word can make. Several weeks ago, I was lying in bed actually letting myself feel the sorrow that I hadn't let out in a while about this whole waiting for baby business. I won't lie: it was a night of not feeling so thrilled with God's plan. In fact, curled up in a sobbing mess I actually asked God, "Why are you doing this to me?" I was feeling extra bratty, so I repeated the question several times and hoped that I was really making Him feel bad for what He'd done. And then I heard it; or felt it...or whatever it is when you know the Spirit has spoken to your heart. I heard the reply, "I'm not doing this to you, I'm doing it for you."
I'm still not sure what to make of that. I haven't even told Ryan about it. And as much as analyzing is my thing, for some reason, I can't come up with any hypothetical stories of how exactly the difference that one word makes plays into our story. The easy answer is that it was God reassuring me that His plan is what's best for us. I know that, and definitely didn't mind the reminder. But I can't help but expect that there's much more to it. I don't know what it is, but I sure can't wait to find out. In the meantime, I'm going to try to focus on the power of that one little preposition. This isn't something God is doing to us; He's doing it for us. And that's pretty amazing.
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