This is Eternal Life

It's been a little over a month since the revelations about why I believe God's having us wait. I wouldn't mind if I didn't still think about the whole infertility thing so much, and instead was able to dedicate that precious time to the deeper relationship He's found me deserving of...but I suppose a habit that's 3+ years in the making will likely take a bit longer than a month to turn around.

There are definitely positives, though. I've been reading my Bible a bit more and making the tiniest baby steps toward learning how to pray. I'm realizing more and more what a strange attitude I've had towards prayer. I guess I really only think of it is asking for what you want, and since I've always felt pretty confident that I'm good with whatever God decides to do, I haven't seen much need for it. (It may seem strange, but even as much as I want to have children, I can't say that I've prayed overly much about it. That's hard to admit because it makes me feel even sillier than some of the other stuff I've admitted here, but there you have it.) I realize now that I've even had the belief that not praying (aka asking for what I want) is a sign of faith and trust; as in "I trust Him so much, I don't even ask Him to do things differently." But I'm learning that prayer is so much more than asking God to do what you want...that it's meant to be how we communicate with each other and get to know each other. So yeah, I'm trying to just talk to Him more. I'm a verbal processor, so I'd think I wouldn't have such an issue with just talking to Him about anything and everything. But it's a challenge...but one I'm excited to take on.

So anyway...one of my favorite things about God is how good He is at really hammering a point into my head. After getting the message that our waiting is meant to be a time for me (hopefully us) to get to know Him better, I have come across the same verse three times in less than three weeks that emphasizes the absolute importance of knowing Him:


And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. John 17:3

I came across it first while reading through John. Somehow when I decided to start reading my Bible more consistently, John was the first place I went...even though it's probably the book I've read most. I read it on my Kindle, and the only verse I highlighted in the book was this one. I know I've read it many times before, but this time it really struck me: eternal life is defined as knowing God and Jesus Christ. It isn't living in self-absorbed blissful happiness in some amazing place that we imagine to be our heaven; it is KNOWING God and Jesus Christ. Not just knowing about, but intimately knowing. And we don't have to wait until we die...He wants us to start experiencing and knowing Him now!

So that verse made quite an impression, and when it just "happened" to be the first verse that Pastor Paul touched on during his sermon the following Sunday my jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it was coming up again. And the very next Sunday, which happened to be Mother's Day--a day I had decided to skip church, but ended up going with my parents and aunt and uncle to their church because they knew he would do his usual sermon in the series and not focus solely on Mother's Day--to my utter amazement the pastor also discussed this verse. I could only let the tears flow and feel the peace wash over me of His reassurance that He wants me to know Him...more than anything. AWESOME!